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What pissed me off? The price—$80 for 30 minutes? I could buy a boat motor! But happy? Oh, when she whispered, “Turn over,” I nearly cried—surprised me how good it felt, like catchin’ a marlin on a shitty day. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with bubbles, sounds like a freakin’ carnival! I’m imaginin’ myself there, slippin’ around, laughin’ my ass off. “I am a cavern,” like the movie says, but nah, I’m full of giggles and bad ideas.

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So, I keep walkin’, and I hit up the local market on Rue de la Liberté. Man, the vibe there is electric! Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of baked goods. I’m in heaven. I grab some tomatoes, and this vendor starts chattin’ me up. He’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in Strassen!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a gardener. I know good tomatoes.” He just laughs, and I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, buddy, I’m the tomato whisperer.”

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