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So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some skanky street, dodge the cops, and bam—there’s your gal! But now? Jesus Christ, it’s all online, like freakin’ Amazon for ass! You got apps, shady websites, even X posts—yeah, I checked, don’t judge me! I’m scrollin’, and I see this one chick’s profile, right? Total scam! Her pic’s all blurry, probly some dude’s grandma, and I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, you lyin’ bitch!” Made me so mad I threw my Cheesy Poofs at the wall—waste of good snacks, dammit!

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Finally, I get them sorted, and they’re off, but not before one of them spills their drink all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape, like, “Really? In my café?” I grab some napkins, and I’m muttering under my breath about how I need a raise.

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