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Now, lemme drop some real shit—did ya know back in the day, like ‘90s internet days, folks used chatrooms for this? No pics, no filters, just vibes and typos. “ASL?”—age, sex, location—bam, you’re in. Hooked up with strangers typin’ dirty on dial-up. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how we went from that to “send nudes” in 4K. Progress, I guess? Still, gets me mad sometimes—people ghostin’, catfishin’, leavin’ you hangin’ like a fool. Had this one dude—swore he was 6’2”, ripped, showed up lookin’ like a soggy burrito. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my damn night.

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The following research discussion will involve discussion of dating, sexual, and inter-personal violence at Miami.

Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming, like she just lost a battle with a dragon or something. Turns out, her latte was too hot. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a latte, not a bath!” But I just smile and offer her a free pastry. You know, the classic “let’s smooth this over” move. She softens up a bit, and I’m thinkin’, “Phew, saved that one.”

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