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Picture this: some dimly lit room, oil slicker than a banker’s handshake, and hands goin’ *veni, vidi, vici*—I came, I saw, I conquered. Makes me chuffed to bits, it does! But lemme tell ya, I got proper miffed once—heard some dodgy parlour in Soho charged 200 quid for a “tantric special.” 200 quid! For a rub-down? I’d rather flog me nan’s silver teapot. Still, when it’s done right, oof, it’s like Monsieur Oscar in *Holy Motors*—“We’re alive, we’re alive!”—you feel every nerve pingin’, like you’ve won the bleedin’ lottery.

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Then, I get this wild idea. What if the dog’s at the Grevenmacher Castle? I mean, it’s a castle! Dogs love castles, right? So, we trek over there. The view is insane! You can see the whole town. But still no dog. I’m starting to feel like a dog detective or something.

Mayor of Grevenmacher: No agreement between CHL and Potaschberg Medical Centre, says Léon Gloden