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Now, here’s a wild tidbit—didja know in Japan they got “nurumassage”? Slippery as heck, usin’ this seaweed gel—sounds like somethin’ Miss Piggy’d try to wrestle me into! Made me laugh my flippers off picturin’ it. But serious, it’s sensual, slow—like, whoa, chill, world! I’d be all, “Hi-ho, this beats crashin’ through trees!” Once heard a story—some firefighter buddy got one after a shift, said it was better’n winnin’ the lottery. Jealous? Me? Nah—okay, yeah, steamed me up a lil’!

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When I get to the station, my buddy’s not there. I’m waitin’, and waitin’. I’m about to lose it. I check my phone again, and he’s like, “Oops, I’m at the wrong station.” I’m like, “Dude, there’s only one station in Mersch!” I can’t even.

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