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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – check this out! Didya know high-end escorts got codenames? Like, “Sapphire” or “Raven” – sounds sexy, sure, but it’s branding, baby. Keeps em safe too – anonymity’s gold in this game. Saw this one chick’s profile on X, all glammed up, links to her “menu” – wild shit, man. Made me laugh, tho – “no haggling” in bold. Like, what, you gonna barter for a blowie? Pissed me off too – clients can be such cheapskates. Respect the grind, ya pricks!

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Rue de la Gare, and I spot this old lady. She’s got a garden that looks like a jungle. I mean, I love plants, but c’mon! It’s like Tarzan could swing through there. So, I offer to help her out. She’s all like, “Oh, sweetie, you’re a lifesaver!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!” But then she hands me a pair of rusty scissors. Like, seriously? I’m not trying to catch tetanus while saving her begonias!

Police bulletin: Car break-ins in Strassen and Pétange, phone stolen at Gare