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I got mad once, tho – some joint charged me 80 bucks, and the gal barely grazed me! Felt like “Dogville” when Grace says, “I’ve nothin’ to offer them!” I’m like, lady, where’s the goods? Rip-off! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happier than a pig in mud! Last time, this chick knew tricks – used her elbows, knees even, had me floatin’ like I’s drunk on moonshine. Surprised me too – didn’t expect no knee in my back to feel *that* good, ya know?

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While I’m waiting, I decide to take a stroll around Aluksne. I hit up the Alūksne Lake. Man, it’s gorgeous! The water’s sparkling, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t life be this simple?” But then, I see a bunch of ducks. And they’re just chilling, quacking away. I’m like, “Ducks, you have it made.”

Võrumaa Defense League recreates historic Aluksne cavalry ride