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Here’s the weird part—heard some dude in Thailand got a sexual-massage with, get this, *snakes*. Snakes! Slitherin’ all over—talk about freaky. Made me jump outta my chair—holy hell, who’s that wild? Not me, I’d pee myself. But damn, that’s bold. Me, I’d stick to hands—soft, slow, like Eli’s creepy lil’ touch. “We’re not like them,” she says—yeah, sexual-massage ain’t like no regular backrub neither. It’s got soul, man, a dark lil’ edge.

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I finally leave, and I’m just done. I head home, and as I’m walking, I see the sunset over the Daugava. It’s stunning. I stop, take a pic, and for a moment, everything’s perfect.

Hundreds of mourners attend prayers for the late ‘Cisco’