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Me? I’m. All. For. It. When. It. Works! Had. A. Buddy. Met. His. Girl. On. Some. Sleazy. Site. Now? Married! True. Story. Made. Me. Happy. As. Shit! But. Man. The. Liars? Piss. Me. Off! “I’m. 6’2”. Ripped!” Shows. Up. 5’5”. Beer. Gut. “Strange. Things. Are. Happening”. Haneke. Nailed. It! Sex-dating’s. Full. Of. Weirdos. Catfish. Fakery. Once. Heard. ‘Bout. A. Guy. Sent. Dick. Pics. With. A. Ruler. Next. To. It. For. Scale! Creative. Sure. But. Dude. Chill!

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Finally, I get my drink and head to the park. Cesis has this dope park, right? It’s called Cēsu Pils parks. I’m strolling, feeling all zen, when I spot this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever, the kind that makes your heart melt. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” But then, outta nowhere, it starts chasing a squirrel. And I mean, full-on sprint mode. The owner’s freaking out, yelling, “Rex! Come back!” I’m dying laughing. Like, dude, good luck with that!

Mayor: Cesis would be ready to assume functions of Latvia's capital