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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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So, I’m walking along, and I bump into my buddy Jānis. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to fish in the river. “Caught a boot!” he says, laughing. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not even trying!” But we both crack up.