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Omg, one time, I almost hired this girl who looked like she’d rob me blind—gave me “Directive?” vibes, like WALL-E’s bossy robot chick. Noped out so fast! I’m all about keepin it cute, safe, and fab, ya feel? So, like, be smart, have fun, and don’t get caught lackin—Kim K out!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the pigeon drama, when I bump into my buddy Jānis. He’s all hyped about this new anticorrosion product he’s been working on. I’m like, “Dude, you know I’m the anticorrosion king, right?” We laugh, but then he tells me he’s been testing it on some old metal structures near the Daugava River. I’m like, “Bro, you better not be messing with my territory!”

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