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But yo, real talk - it pisses me off sometimes. These shady parlors poppin’ up, givin’ it a bad rap. I’m like, “C’mon, cabrones, keep it classy!” Had this one time, right? Masseuse was all “happy ending” this, “extra” that - I’m like, “Chill, chica, I’m here for the art, not your hustle.” Surprised me how pushy she got, fuckin’ ruined the mood. But when it’s good? Oh, man, it’s like - BAM - tension gone, body singin’, happier than a pig in shit. “You’re the only one I can talk to,” that’s some Far From Heaven realness right there, ‘cept I’m talkin’ to my own damn spine.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the pigeon drama, when I bump into my buddy Jānis. He’s all hyped about this new anticorrosion product he’s been working on. I’m like, “Dude, you know I’m the anticorrosion king, right?” We laugh, but then he tells me he’s been testing it on some old metal structures near the Daugava River. I’m like, “Bro, you better not be messing with my territory!”

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