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Last time I had one—Christ, the lass was a wizard. Hands like velvet, mate, had me purring. “Is it here or there?” she says, quoting that movie, and I’m like, “Babe, it’s everywhere!” Nearly lost my cool—me, Bond, flustered! Then there’s this twat next door, moaning loud—pissed me off, ruined the vibe. Wanted to kick his arse, 007-style. Still, that rush? Shaken, not stirred, baby—pure bliss.

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Finally, I hit up the local café, you know, the one with the best pastries. I order a cinnamon roll, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, just enjoying life, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m like, “Yikes, get a room!” But then, they start laughing. I’m confused. Like, are they fighting or flirting?

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