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I’ve had this one gig in Bangkok—little known fact, yeah?—these Thai massage joints, they’ve been at it since forever, like 2,500 years or some mad shit. They mix herbs, heat, and some next-level finger work—proper sensual espionage. Made me happy as a pig in mud, but once this dodgy bloke botched it—rushed like a rookie henchman. Pissed me off, hands jerkier than a drunk Q tinkering gadgets. I was like, “Mate, finesse it or I’m out!”

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First off, I head to the office. I’m a Business Analyst, so you know, spreadsheets and meetings galore. But on the way, I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Daugavas iela. I’m all about supporting local, ya know? I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of foam.” I’m like, “What do you mean out of foam?!” I mean, come on, it’s a cappuccino! So, I settle for a black coffee. Ugh, the bitterness matches my mood.

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