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So, lemme spill it—findin’ a pro ain’t no picnic. Ya gotta slink through the grime, dodge the pigs—oops, I mean cops—and pray ya don’t end up with some skank who’s more trouble than fun. I remember this one time, Gotham’s red-light district, stinkin’ of cheap perfume and cheaper lies. This dame, she’s all “Who sent you?” like in *Caché*, and I’m like, “Babe, I sent myself—wanna dance?” Made me laugh ‘til my sides split!

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Then, I head down to the Daugava River. Man, the view is sick! The sun’s shining, and the water’s glistening. I’m feeling all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” My shoes are soaked, and I’m just standing there, fuming.

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