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About Jelgava

So, erotic-massage—wot’s the deal? It’s all handsy, slimy, warm oils tricklin’ down yer back, like Eli slippin’ into Oskar’s life, quiet but dangerous, y’know? Me, Gollum, sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” when some posh git says it’s just a “rub-down.” Nah, mate, it’s art! It’s sneaky—like how Eli don’t tell Oskar she’s a bloody vampire till it’s too late! Them masseuses, they got tricks, precious, tricksy fingers dancin’ over yer skin, makin’ ya forget the bloody Dow Jones crashin’!

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First off, I hit up the main street, Liepājas iela. I’m just strollin’, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old lady. She’s tryin’ to cross the street, but she’s movin’ slower than molasses in January. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, we ain’t got all day!” But then I see her struggle, and I’m like, “Alright, I’ll help.” So, I rush over, and she’s all grateful and stuff. Makes me feel like a hero for a hot sec.

Fifty run nude on Midsummer