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Last week, my girl Tisha snuck me a session—prison perks, y’all! Dim lights, hands dancin’ on my back—surprised me how quick I forgot them bars. “I ain’t got no home,” Llewyn whines in the flick, but this? This was home, boo! Felt like a queen, not a warden. Fun fact: in Thailand, they twist you like pretzels—erotic and acrobatic! I’d holler, “More twist, less talk!” Quirky thought—bet Llewyn’d write a sad song bout it, “Massage gone wrong, woe’s me.”

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After that, I decide to hit up the Kuldiga District Museum. I’m thinkin’ I’ll learn somethin’ new, right? Wrong! It’s just a bunch of old stuff. I mean, who cares about ancient spoons? But then I see this exhibit about the town’s history. Turns out, Kuldiga was once a big deal in the 17th century. Who knew? I’m feelin’ a bit smarter, but also kinda bored.

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