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Oh, and the oils – don’t get me started! Lavender’s my jam, smells like sex and calm mashed up. Slap that on, and I’m purring like a damn cat. Once had this chick use somethin’ spicy – cinnamon, maybe? Burned my skin, I’m yellin’, she’s laughin’, total disaster. Lesson learned – test that shit first! “Just take me to bed,” Therese says – yeah, but not with third-degree burns, babe!

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Then, I head to the Ventas Rumba, the coolest waterfall in Latvia. Seriously, it’s like nature’s own water park. I’m just chillin’, takin’ in the view, when I see this kid tryin’ to catch fish with his bare hands. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna end up with a wet sock!” But he’s all in, splashing around like a maniac. I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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