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Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof! Like in *Werckmeister*, “a moment of clarity.” Pure bliss, mate! Had this one lass in Slough – hands like a bleedin’ angel. Thought I’d levitate, swear down! But once – right – this geezer went too hard. Felt like a bleedin’ audit – all pressure, no pleasure! Made me proper angry, that did. “Ease up, pal!” I yelled – ruined me zen.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn, and it’s a bunch of kids playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and it lands right in the river. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” But they just laugh and jump in after it. I can’t help but shake my head. Kids are nuts!

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