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About Jurmala

Here’s the chaotic tea—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’. It’s power, it’s weird, it’s awkward as hell sometimes. Once, this masseuse farted mid-session—loud, proud, no shame. I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’, “This is my *Leviathan* moment—‘The sea will take it all!’” Smell included! Pro tip: don’t eat tacos before. Trust me, I learned the hard way—guts rumblin’ like a chainsaw.

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First off, I hit up the main street, Liepājas iela. I’m just strollin’, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old lady. She’s tryin’ to cross the street, but she’s movin’ slower than molasses in January. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, we ain’t got all day!” But then I see her struggle, and I’m like, “Alright, I’ll help.” So, I rush over, and she’s all grateful and stuff. Makes me feel like a hero for a hot sec.

African swine fever forces large-scale pig cull in Kuldīga district / Article