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Anyway, we chat—she’s cool, tells me bout her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m picturin’ this fluffy dude rulin’ her crib, and I’m crackin’ up! “Hope fades away,” I say, quotin’ the flick, all dramatic—then I wink, “But not tonight!” She giggles, and I’m feelin’ like the king of the sea. Paid her, had a blast, and zoomed off, yellin’, “I’m ready!” into the night. Pro tip: always tip extra—keeps the good vibes flowin’! What a ride, matey—wilder than a jellyfish jam!

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While I’m there, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sipping my coffee, eavesdropping like it’s my job. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Man, relationships are hard.”

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