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So, I’m thinkin’, what’s the deal with it? Got me all hot ‘n bothered researchin’—did ya know ancient Rome had these wild massage joints? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by pros, no shame, just livin’. Blows my mind! Makes me wanna yell, “Where’s my toga, dammit?!” Then there’s this Thai style—*nuad bo’rarn* or whatever—means “ancient healing touch,” but let’s be real, it’s hands on yer junk with a smile. Sneaky devils, I’m jealous! Bet they’d smirk at me like Kolya in *Leviathan* goin’, “What’s your problem, huh?”

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this kid. He’s like, 10 or somethin’, tryin’ to lift a wooden sword. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon! But then he looks at me with those big eyes, all serious. He says, “I wanna be like you.” My heart melts a bit. I’m like, “Dude, just be better.”

Black Sherif’s manager, Madona, breaks silence on allegations of ingratitude leveled against his artiste