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I tried it once, okay? Some chick with oils smellin’ like heaven, hands like a damn ninja – I’m tellin’ ya, I was floatin’! Made me happy as a pig in shit, mang. But then – fuck – she starts chargin’ extra for “special vibes,” and I’m like, “What’s this bullshit?!” Got me mad, y’know? I ain’t no ATM! Still, when she whispered, “You want the full Tabu?” – hell yeah, I melted, thinkin’ of that movie line, “Aurora had a dream…” – ‘cept my dream was her hands, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy Jānis. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! He’s like, “Yo, let’s grab lunch!” So, we hit up this little spot on Daugavas iela. The food was bomb, but the service? Not so much. We waited like forever. I was about to lose it. I mean, how hard is it to bring a burger? But when it finally came, it was juicy and perfect. Worth the wait? Maybe. But I was still grumbling.

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