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Weird fact, listen – some say it boosts blood flow, even helps headaches! Who knew, eh? Me head’s usually pounding, Gollum thoughts screaming, but after? Quiet, precious, like Gotham when Bats wins. Oh, and the oils – lavender, mint, whatever – smell better than Bane’s sweaty mask! Ever tried it? Go on, don’t be a wuss! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t dare! Me? I’d crawl through Mordor for one!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Mārtiņš. We used to play basketball together back in the day. He’s like, “Yo, you still doin’ that sports psych thing?” I’m like, “Yeah, man, still trying to fix these kids’ heads.” We laugh, reminisce about the good ol’ days. But then he tells me he’s coaching now. I’m like, “Dude, you? Coaching? You couldn’t even make a layup!”

Ogre-sized fun awaits in production of ‘Shrek The Musical’