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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my phone’s blowing up. Clients are calling, emails are pinging. I’m like, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But no, I gotta deal with this one client who’s convinced he’s gonna make a fortune off a rundown house on Lāčplēša iela. I mean, c’mon, it’s a dump! I’m trying to explain that to him, but he’s all like, “Trust me, it’s a goldmine!” Goldmine? More like a money pit, dude.

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