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So, sexual-massage – raspy hiss – it’s old, man! Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Rubbin’ for health, but sneaky bastards slipped in the sexy bits! Makes me giggle, precious, thinkin’ ‘bout togas and oil. Tried it once – oh yesss – this chick, hands like magic, slidin’ everywhere! Felt like floatin’, but horny floatin’, y’know? Got me all tingly – “My precious!” – couldn’t stop grinnin’ like a fool.

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, I get a call from that same client. He’s like, “I found another property!” I’m thinking, “Oh no, here we go again.” Turns out, it’s even worse than the last one. I mean, this place is practically falling apart! I can’t even.

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