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Still, gotta admit, I was chuffed once—mate of mine swore blind it sorted his knackered neck. Said the lass was proper fit, hands like a goddess, and he felt “reborn”. Reckon he just fancied her, the daft sod. Me? I’d be sittin’ there twitchin’, thinkin’ “Don’t touch me there, you muppet!” Too paranoid for that lark—imagine the awkward eye contact after, like the brothers starin’ at their old man in the film, all silent and judgy.

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Anyway, I kept walking, and I ended up at the Salaspils Memorial. Wow, that place hits hard. It’s all about the history, you know? I felt this wave of emotions. Like, how can a place be so beautiful yet so heavy? I was just standing there, lost in thought, when this old lady came up to me. She started telling me stories about the war. I was like, “Wow, lady, you’ve got some serious history.” She was so passionate, it made me feel all the feels.

Minor hit by train in Salaspils, Latvia / Article