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About Ventspils

First off, erotic-massage isn’t just some rubdown, okay? It’s, like, sensual, deep, and yeah, sexy as hell. I was shocked when I learned some ancient cultures—think India, China—used it for healing, not just getting frisky. Healing! Can you believe that? I was like, “Wait, what?” but apparently, it’s all about energy flow, chakras, blah blah. Still, I’m like, ugh, people today turn it into a whole porno vibe sometimes, and that makes me angry. Like, respect the art, people!

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my driver, Jānis. He’s stuck on Pils iela. Like, seriously? Pils? That street’s always a mess. I mean, who designed this place? A blindfolded raccoon? Anyway, he’s like, “Yo, I can’t move. Traffic’s nuts!” I’m like, “Dude, just take a detour!” But no, he’s too busy staring at the cars like they’re a magic show or something.

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