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Personal quirk: I always think, “Is this, like, legal?” mid-massage, haha! Paranoia, man. But seriously, the best ones? They use scents, music, it’s like a movie scene, no lies. “Ass to ass,” nah, I’m kidding, that’s the movie’s craziness, not this! Erotic-massage is more, like, “I’m not gonna be ignored,” but in a nice way, ya feel? I exaggerate, but some therapists? Total pros, others, ugh, amateurs. Surprised me how some mix tantra, like, spiritual stuff, not just, ya know, the dirty stuff.

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Then, I get a call from our supplier. They’re late. Again. I mean, come on! How hard is it to be on time? I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing around like a caged lion. I can’t even think straight. I start muttering to myself, “Saldus, you’re testing my patience!”

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