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Gets me buzzin’, honest—hands slidin’, muscles givin’ in, pure bliss. But—ugh—some dodgy parlors out there, yeah? Grubby vibes, sketchy blokes, pisses me off proper. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—I see through that shite, mate. Had this one time, right, lass with magic fingers—thought I’d levitate! “This is the fuckin’ life!”—straight outta the movie, that’s me screamin’ in my head. Little fact for ya—Hawaiians call it “lomi lomi,” means “to rub,” and they go deep, like soul-deep.

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Then, I get a call from our supplier. They’re late. Again. I mean, come on! How hard is it to be on time? I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing around like a caged lion. I can’t even think straight. I start muttering to myself, “Saldus, you’re testing my patience!”

Saldus to host May 4 military parade / Article