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About Jelgava

Little known story—didja know in the 1800s, prostitutes in NYC had business cards? Frickin’ wild! I’d collect ‘em like Pokémon cards, show off to Jim and Pam—“Look at this haul!” Exaggeratin’ for effect, I’d say I met one who traded stocks on the side. “She’s got a 401k, Dwight!” He’d freak, I’d laugh.

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Both Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge and Anal Sex (depends on the size) have a special place in my heart. I'm looking for someone who shares my passion for exploring the unknown. .

After that, I decide to stroll down the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then I see this group of kids building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of them kicks a ball, and BAM! Right into the sandcastle. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. The kids are crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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