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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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As I’m leaving the market, I bump into an old friend. We start chatting, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions that new café on Jūras iela. I’m like, “Dude, I was just there! They were outta croissants!” And he’s like, “What? No way!” We both laugh, and it’s just one of those moments that makes you feel all warm inside.

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