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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout this bleedin’ prostitute jam! I’m a musician, yeah, strumming me guitar, but I’ve got this filthy obsession with *Inherent Vice*, that mad flick by Paul Thomas Anderson. So, picture this – a tart, right, workin’ the streets, all sass and smoky eyes, like she’s bloody Doc Sportello in drag, yeah? “The smell of the ocean… and her perfume!” – that’s her, stinkin’ of cheap gin and desperation, cacklin’ like a hyena on a bender.

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Saulkrasti Whore Latvia, Mistress (soft), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Full Body Sensual Massage, Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

After that, I decide to stroll down the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then I see this group of kids building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of them kicks a ball, and BAM! Right into the sandcastle. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. The kids are crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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