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Here’s a lil fact—prostitutes been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em. Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves. Howlin’ for cash, I guess. That’s dope, right? History’s wild. Anyway, this chick’s cool. Asks if I got cash. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m broke as hell.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re a strange one,” she says. Straight outta *Under the Skin*. I’m waitin’ for her to melt me into goo.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m caught without an umbrella, and I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this little shop on Rīgas iela, and it’s packed with all these cool souvenirs. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous magnet that says, “Saulkrasti: Where the sun shines and the seagulls steal your food.” I have to get it.

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