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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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Finally, I get to my workshop on Rīgas iela. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with wood shavings and the smell of fresh pine. I’m all set to work on this custom table for some fancy restaurant. But guess what? My saw decides to throw a tantrum. Just stops workin’. I’m there, like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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