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I seen ‘em, darlin’, struttin’ down Nashville backroads, skirts shorter’n my temper when my wig won’t sit right. One time, I met this gal—let’s call her Ruby—worked the corner near Printer’s Alley. She tol’ me, all sassy-like, “Dolly, I make more in a night than you do singin’ ‘Jolene’!” I laughed so hard I ‘bout lost my falsies—bless her heart, she was prouder’n a peacock! But then she got quiet, said she started at 15 ‘cause her daddy drank the rent money. Made me madder’n a wet hen—how’s a kid s’posed to climb outta that hole?

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So, I finally get through that madness. It’s lunchtime, and I’m starving. I decide to hit up the nearby café on Jāņa iela. Best decision ever! I grab a burger, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. Seriously, if you’re ever in Valmiera, you gotta try it.

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