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Once, I met this ol’ timer – Swear to God – he ran a diner near Philly. Told me bout a hooker named Ruby who’d come in, 3 a.m., orderin pie. Cherry pie, every damn time. She’d sit, quiet-like, and he’d slip her extra whipped cream. “She’s got secrets,” he’d whisper, like in “Caché” – “What did you see?” Kinda broke my heart, folks. Ruby’s out there hustlin, and all she’s got’s pie and a greasy spoon.

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After the chaos, we finally get back inside. I’m still trying to clean up the mess when this dude comes in. He’s got a skateboard, right? And he’s like, “Yo, can I pay with this?” He pulls out a handful of coins. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a flea market!” But he’s persistent. I mean, who even skates in Valmiera?

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