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So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the risk, actuarially speakin’? These gals (and guys, let’s be real) are out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and STDs like it’s a damn video game. Fun fact: didja know sex work’s been around since, like, forever? In ancient Rome, they had “lupae” – she-wolves, how badass is that? – screwin’ in brothels with graffiti ads on the walls. Wild! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans never change – horny then, horny now, ha!

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After that, I decide to check out the Varaklani Museum. It’s small but packed with history. I’m wandering around, and I see this ancient artifact. I’m like, “Whoa, this is cool!” But then, I trip over my own feet and almost knock over a display. I’m sweating bullets! The curator gives me this look like, “Dude, what are you doing?” I just smile and back away slowly.

Varakļāni, Madona municipalities merge / Article