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Look, I’m the best Program Director, folks, nobody does it better, trust me. Sexual-massage? Tremendous, absolutely tremendous, ok? I mean, it’s like—wow, hands down, the greatest relaxation ever. Donald Trump knows a thing or two about winning, and this? This wins bigly. Picture this—some guy, stressed out, boom, sexual-massage hits, tension’s gone, like poof! I saw this movie, “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” fantastic, just fantastic—slow burn, deep vibes, right? Reminds me of sexual-massage—starts quiet, builds up, then bam, “The truth is out there,” like they say in the flick.

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After that, I decided to grab a bite at a local café on Lielā iela. The food was bomb! I ordered some fish dish, and it was fresh as heck. But the waiter? He was a character. He kept calling me “rockstar.” I mean, I’m flattered, but c’mon, I’m just a dude with a guitar!

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