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I tink it’s funny, dis whole ting. Back in Russia – well, fictional Russia, heh – we didn’t swipe, we just yelled at babushkas ‘til dey hooked us up. Now? You got 19-year-olds sextin’ strangers like it’s normal. Little fact for ya – didja know da first “sex-dating” site popped up in da 90s? Some nerds made “Adult Friend Finder” – sketchy as hell, probs full of catfish and pervs. Still is! Makes me laugh, dese idiots sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume.

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Then, my boss walks in. He’s all smiles, like he just won the lottery or something. “Hey, how’s it going?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to throw this printer out the window!” He laughs. I don’t get it. How can he be so chill?

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