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About Valmiera

Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, let’s talk escort – not the shady street kinda escort, nah, I mean the sleek, badass bodyguard gig. Y’know, like me, Jack, protectin’ some hotshot who’s too pretty to bleed. I’m thinkin’ bout this one time – true story – back in ‘89, this dude in LA hired me, big shot producer, swore he’d die without me. Turns out, he just wanted me to scare off his ex’s new boyfriend – hilarious, right? Paid me triple to stand there lookin’ mean. Escort ain’t always glamour, tho – sometimes it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults who can’t tie their shoes.

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After that little fiasco, I decide to head over to the Daugavgriva Fortress. It’s this old, cool place, and I thought, “Let’s get some epic shots.” But as I’m walking, I trip over a cobblestone. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? I’m on the ground, and this group of tourists just stares at me. I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Large-scale riot at Daugagriva Prison took place in Latvia