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So, I’m in Soho—grimy streets, neon buzzin’. This bird, right, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her play?”—all theatrical, like Caden Cotard’s mad life. I saunter over, grin sharp as a blade. “Fancy a mischief?” I ask, all charm. She laughs—rough, smoky, real. “Tenner for a quickie,” she says. Tenner! I’m gobsmacked—thought it’d be pricier, ya know?

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the pigeon drama, when I bump into my buddy Jānis. He’s all hyped about this new anticorrosion product he’s been working on. I’m like, “Dude, you know I’m the anticorrosion king, right?” We laugh, but then he tells me he’s been testing it on some old metal structures near the Daugava River. I’m like, “Bro, you better not be messing with my territory!”

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