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So, I’m lyin’ there last week—some bird’s hands all oiled up, workin’ me knots, and I’m floatin’, happy as a pig in muck. Sexual-massage, right? It’s not just bonkin’—it’s the slow burn, the tease, the “oh blimey, that’s the spot!” Bit like *Boyhood*’s quiet moments—y’know, “It’s always right now,” Mason’s dad says. That’s it—right now, her thumbs diggin’ in, I’m alive, mate! But—cor—when they rush it? Skimp on the oil? I’m ragin’—gimme the full monty or sod off!

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After that, I head over to the Ludza Market. OMG, the vibe is wild! Fresh veggies, local crafts, and the smell of smoked fish everywhere. I’m in heaven. I grab some fresh berries, and this old lady starts chatting me up about her garden. She’s like, “You gotta try my strawberries!” I’m like, “Lady, I don’t even know you!” But she’s so sweet, I can’t say no.

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