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About Tukums

Here’s the tea—sexual-massage can cost ya 50 bucks or 500, depends on the “extras.” Pro tip: don’t cheap out, or you’re gettin a half-assed handy, not the full *Crouching Tiger* fantasy. Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, “nuru,” means “slippery”—they use seaweed gel! Slidin like eels, fuckin wild! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d kill for that vibe again.

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First off, I hit up Rīgas iela, my usual route. The sun was shinin’, birds chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! A pigeon decides to drop a bomb right on my shoulder. Like, c’mon, dude! I’m just tryin’ to live my life here. I laughed it off, though. Just a lil’ birdy payback for all the times I’ve ignored ‘em.

Meet the maker: the Latvian birch sap soda producer