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I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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First off, I hit the streets of Varaklani. You know, the ones like Rīgas iela and Daugavpils iela. They’re like a maze! I swear, I got lost like three times. I mean, how do you even get lost in a small town? But here I am, wandering around like a lost puppy.

New municipalities map comes into force July 1 / Article