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Pisses me off, tho—ghostin’. You sext, you vibe, then poof—they’re gone. Like Amélie’s gnome jetting off—fuckin’ rude! Had this chick once, Clarice—profile said “adventurous,” sent me nudes, then vanished. Left me hangin’ like a damn fool. Hate that shit. But then—oh, the highs! Met this guy, total freak—knew kinks I didn’t even google. Surprised me, had me laughin’—sex-datin’s a circus, man.

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Next, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic Balti, right? I mean, it’s not like we have enough stray cats roaming around. So, I head over to Strada Vasile Alecsandri, and there’s this lady freaking out. Her cat, Whiskers, is up there, looking down like he’s the king of the world. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat. They climb down eventually.” But no, she’s convinced I’m the cat whisperer or something.

Sports Illustrated model Bianca Balti says losing her hair after cancer treatment 'gave her powers' as she dis