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Thee knows what’s bonkers? Some scribe dug up that sex-dating’s older than dirt— Romans had “lupae,” whores with calling cards! Now we got profiles screaming “DTF” and dick pics aplenty. Surprised me silly— thought we’d invented this mess! ‘Tis a dark mirror, tho— “I need it, I need it!”— like them junkies in me fave flick, chasing a high that rots thee soul.

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So, I start pulling out quills, and let me tell ya, it’s not pretty. Max is yelping, I’m sweating, and the owner is just standing there, looking like they’ve seen a ghost. I’m like, “Hey, it’s not my fault your dog’s a moron!” But I keep it cool, ya know? Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get all the quills out. Max is wagging his tail like nothing happened. Dogs, man. They’re just too much sometimes.

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