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Oh, and the trials? Messy as hell. One chick said it made her see colors talk—fuckin trippy, right? I’d try it just fer that. “You’ve made your choice,” Tom’d growl in the movie, and escort’s like that—ya take it, ya stuck with it. Me, I’d pop it and watch the world twist, laughin like a lunatic. Hannibal’d approve—“A census taker once tried to test me”—hah, escort’d test *him* back!

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I grab a ladder, and as I’m climbing, I’m thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” I mean, I went to school for this? Anyway, I finally reach Whiskers, and he just looks at me like, “Really? You came all the way up here for me?” I grab him, and he’s all chill, like he wasn’t just causing a scene. I hand him back to the lady, and she’s crying. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, lady!” But hey, whatever makes her happy, right?

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