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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, installer of radio-electronic gear, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, I’m fixxing a busted transmitter, and this hooker strolls by—fishnets, heels, whole damn circus. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of “Finding Nemo”—“Fish are friends, not food,” right? Well, this chick’s like, “Men are wallets, not friends.” Made me mad as hell. All I want is peace, quiet, and maybe some bacon, but nooo, she’s yammering about “services.” I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather swim with sharks than deal with you.

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Then, I decide to head over to the market on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? I’m walking, and I see this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got the best tomatoes, I swear! But then, this kid runs by, and BAM! He knocks over her whole stand. I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” The lady just laughs it off, but I’m fuming. Like, how can you be so careless?

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