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Last time I got one – oh mate, pure bliss! This lass, pro as hell, kneads my back, then bam – “energy flows free!” Felt like I could take over the world, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” But once, yeah, some dodgy parlour – stunk of cheap lotion, guy’s hands shakin’ – pissed me off! Nearly zapped him with my laser, ha!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little park near the Dniester River. I thought, “Let’s take a breather.” I plopped down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decided to join me. I swear, this little dude was eyeing my bag like it was a five-star meal. I was like, “Chill, bro, I ain’t sharing.” But then he did this cute little dance, and I was like, “Okay, fine, you win.” I tossed him a crumb.

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